Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
