I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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