I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
