Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
