My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
