how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
