so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
