D3 body, D1 cock
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
