a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
