Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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