Its about making memories worth repressing
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
