that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
