I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
