I bet he comes in French.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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