Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize