Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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