Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
