the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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