It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
