Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
