if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
