Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
