Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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