Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
