I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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