Your dad touched me again.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
