no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize