Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
