Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize