...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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