things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
