I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize