The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
