I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
