Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
