One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
