theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
