Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
