so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
