Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
