thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
