But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
