I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
