I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
