I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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