i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
is it fun? or sober?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize