We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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