the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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