why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
