you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
