Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
