how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
