did you get engaged???
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
