actually, I'm a sock model
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
