Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize