I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
