is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize