just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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