It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you would pick up someone in the library
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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