just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize